The Love I Felt For You
by DarknessSeeps
Summary: A letter Severus wrote to his dear Lily about the terrible night he found her dead. Oneshot, short and easy to read.


**The Love I Felt For You**

Dearest Lily,

This is what happened when I found you, dead.

I stumbled up the stairs towards you, shocked at seeing your husband dead at the door, dreading the truth I would see upstairs. I grasped the walls as I walked along the dark corridor. I was reluctant to see you, knowing that you had gone. I stopped at the door, preparing myself, I slowly opened the thing that kept me apart from you. I gasped when I saw you.

You were lying in an angle, your fire red hair tossed away from your face, displaying a open wide-eyed face. Your eyes stared at me, empty and dead, glazed and still. Your face pale but as beautiful as I could remember. I thought that your eyes looked as if they are shocked and surprised to see the sight of me crying. I imagined you standing up and hugging me, telling me everything is alright, cradling my face, rocking me until my tears turn dry. But you didn't wake up. You left me, you died.

I remember kneeling next to you, my face a flood of tears as I wept and wailed. I clutched you in my arms, afraid if you would slip from my grasp. I rocked you from side to side, like a mother caring for her baby. I didn't stop crying and wailing until my tears ran out and my voice turned into a whimper.

I can still feel this terrible agony of torn love, pain bursting out of my heart, it was like a precious part of me was torn out and ripped apart, a part of me died. I didn't care, I wanted to lie there and die with you, travel as a spirit with you. The burning black fire of agony has never subsided, my heart felt so big as if it would explode into tiny pieces of red-hot coal. But still my heart carried on beating, making me live, making me feel a horrible endless pain. I never thought that seeing someone I love so dearly would twist something inside me, a hidden hatred for You-Know-Who. I felt so insane, so full of madness. The sight of your flaming red hair hanging limply and your beautiful eyes so glazed made me feel a whole of hate for him. The-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I was in a indescribable pain, confusion, madness, the fear of the world. The hurt I felt never fazed out after that night, it burned on and on like a big wildfire. I was confused and mad at the evilness in the world that never stop destroying lives. The purest hell in the deepest dept of the ground took you, dragging you by your fire hair.

I didn't let you go, afraid you didn't want to be alone. I would have laid there and die with you, but it was his small cry that stopped me.

He gave a small wail, full of sorrow and grief. I looked up at a boy with black hair. Your boy, your son. He was alive with a scar on his forehead. He was the person who told me what you wanted, you needed me to protect him. So I did, for you. I looked after his back, followed him like a shadow, I gave him no signs that I was helping him. I tried to hate him, but my dear Lily, he is just like you. His eyes the sweetest colour, the eyes that belonged to you, clear and happy. I kept myself alive for him, for you my dear beloved Lily. And Lily I did my job, I looked after Harry Potter.

I still remember the days when it was just you and me, under the trees. Next to a glistening river, throwing buttercups in the flowing water. We chatted about everything, you were the only person I trusted. When you came to Hogwarts I realised that I fell in love you. And I am still in love. The sight of you flaming red hair made me smile even when I was in a foul mood, your eyes made me feel the happiness you felt. I was too shy to reveal my feelings to you, scared that you would ignore me. It was too late for me. He came. Harry Potter's father, the black-haired boy.

But I still love you, no matter what.

I wrote this letter to finally reveal the love I felt for you. But I'm just too late. Though I know you will be waiting for me, are you? Yes, you will, I'm your friend. I did what you needed.

Sincerely with the greatest love,

Severus Snape


End file.
